028 Networking When You Just Don’t Know Anyone At All

So often we start out especially if we are looking for a job unexpectedly we wonder who could I possibly turn to who can I have my friends or family or involved in my industry or the kind of work that I do how can I possibly move forward and the hardest thing to realize is how many people you actually already know who can help you gotta want to networking process if you’re out of work and you’re like whatever the reason is you think you should be networking you have to want to do it and that’s the biggest challenge most people have because it come to me and say hey I don’t know anybody not be possible You never went to school with anybody he never went to the doctor Reger visited a dentist you have never been and while that may challenge some people and really it’s not comfortable it’s still a valuable question to ask because change begins at the end of your comfort zone I know we heard that “a lot but you have to be willing to get out of your comfort zone so when we talked about the idea that you have to be willing to network you have to want to network there are a lot of people who say oh no I’m an introvert or I don’t socialize easily or I deal with anxiety and all of that maybe true all of that is valid but you can still want to except the limitations that you have is one thing excepting them as the only truth is a choice and no matter where you are on that spectrum you can choose to want to do that will be harder for some people Time are the ones that of been working for so motions project they just never had to do it right now they feel like they have to do it versus the most productive way to work they have to believe that is the most productive as I don’t want to do it I found having something that you’re going after that encourages you or motivate you to do something you don’t really want to do is a good idea yeah there’s also the approach of taking this as change management there are a number of change management models out there personally I’m certified in the pro side change management model PROSE I sent people to their website there are stages that you go through Being the first two steps so as you’re making this change as you’re approaching the need to network be aware of your ability to say yes I want to do this because the second stage so if you can get the awareness of why we do this at the risk of not doing it that can help you build that desire to get out there and actually start networking and we talked about this the anatomy of the networking conversation helps with the physically speaking networking is the most effective way to find your next position and will leave the link in the show notes today it’s a four-part series you’re welcome to download nuggets in there he would benefit from Really what do you want yeah what do you want them for companies you want to work for clarity around that will lead you to certain people in certain companies you may not have a really good point when it comes to titles so often we think of the title that we want as being the title that we had or maybe one of the other titles in our company it’s really important to remember that different companies have different ideas of a VP in one place may be a director in another they make hold of my different words for example you may be in your company or your former company be working with human resources and did another company it’s called the people organization there’s probably a reason they call it something else so that may actually trigger you to find different kinds of titles or to expand Just came from the really helpful in finding opportunities that you have seen before easy on yourself to identify the right people in the right opportunities to have conversations in the marketplace making the starting of networking with people I don’t know a little easier right you’re also making it easier for the people you’re talking to that understand what you want to making some decisions on how to expand the best search can really help you find opportunities that you may not of thought of before other thing that you want to decide is do you want to stay in your current position or do you want to that will also change the kinds of titles that you’re looking for the kind of work did you might be doing searches for if you decide that you want to stay on this level if you have reasons for That allows him to pursue his passion of running a theater company the skills to be a really effective manager know there are others who want to continue moving up if you do that’s going to open up some different conversations for you to have this is a time when I would probably work with a mentor or someone that I know has executive or supervisory experience what kinds of things with they want to see in my resume or what kind of things should I be talking about at my networking show that my skills are ready to move me into the next higher position a lot of times if we have been able to show our own leadership skills without being in a leadership position whether that’s leading a project or times when I have been Fire other people to greater outcome if you want to move in when you can will keep track I’m thing about yourself keeping track of this good idea you might give yourself a little grace in the blank with somebody that you already know doesn’t have to be somebody that knows your profession we have to talk to other people in her profession I need to practice this I just need to practice you’re still having another person whether that’s feedback on your presentation or perhaps the direction you’re taking it still usable and they know people are friends or your family or people that are really close to you are still not working well and I’m thinking of this specifically as your dresser Hursel where you invite people and they don’t actually have to pay for the ticket yes you’re giving yourself the opportunity to have an audience and you get to practice but they’re going to talk to other people well of you in most cases so let this happen invite the people in to the conversation talk to them about everything you need to talk Also we talked about the conversation and if you haven’t done it working before the ass can be really difficult with people that you know already you can practice your ass connected to who you are because you never know who their circle of influence is right question I would ask is who are the people that went for the type of job you be surprised how you get two different answers to that same question right you can also identify these people and LinkedIn we have another really encourage people often to And my leadership development courses that when you practice you perform and what you put out you get back to you so as you’re working through this keep that in mind that doesn’t mean that you have to put on a show that doesn’t mean that you’re aware of what’s happening give yourself permission to make mistakes with a family member or a professional networking contacts it’s OK to make mistakes but if you practice it with people who already know you and trust you and you feel safe with that performance will get better when you’re with the people that your professional speaking of making mistakes and getting comfortable one thing you can do to mitigate the downside of making mistakes is by having a system or a series of templates, script caught whatever you want if you have a consistent way that you’re approaching this process you’re gonna be less nervous about it And one of the things that I realized how many times I practice the script you like to deliver it verbatim everything was fine I was still nervous before I went on stage and the only recurring dream that I have from my acting days not knowing what showman or what my next line is and I know my entrance is about to come on that is that causes me so much you’re going to have a script the more you practice the easier it becomes to see the lines without having to think about it it doesn’t have to be exactly know what you’re talking about and what are you leading this conversation more you do this the easier it becomes the more conversational and you don’t have to be beating yourself up or what you didn’t Think about it and you can modify it set up so that you can overcome is that objective objection try to use the right words that you get all I don’t know anybody well how many millions of people run late there’s a lot of meat somebody and having a template or something is going to take a lot of the approach avoidance so we really encourage you to have set up different college of people you went to college with a college right to have different template set up being nervous if you can approach that nervousness as a benefit to you your props And I say that because when you’re nervous you are naturally the brain actually processes information more quickly when you are nervous whatever no it’s it it’s a natural process when we’re doing that we find that we’re taking a more oxygen to feed our brain so that we can think more quickly actually helps us so when you’re looking at that you’ll be more on your toes you’ll be sharper assuming that it is not overwhelming your practice will keep it from getting overwhelming the other thing that can decrease your level of nervousness and get quick more quickly in the report as a comfort is also a biological response is to ask questions right off and we feel like we have to fill the void Introductions on LinkedIn you can create a template it series of questions that you may want to treat them and they were out here when you get better at having a series of of the same questions to ask somebody what I have when I go for interviews I try to help my list of questions in front of me once some of those questions are going to be answered during the interview process this is also true of networking conversation so you take those questions and you’re having conversations with people you don’t have to ask the questions that have already been walking him prepared and you have those questions available to use it you may want to tweak because of something else that they said that is brilliant listen to what they said so that you can start trying to understand them better understand you better and then those questions relevant they show that you’re paying attention Showing showing them you’re interested in networking as well as the questions in fact if you feel uncomfortable that you’re going to read them just tell them no problem I have never had someone tell me one question into I can I take notes they almost always appreciate that now it’s possible you may run into somebody that’s a good thing it’s always a good thing the preparation is actually going to help you psych yourself up you’re not going to psych yourself out thinking this is a big thing of my entire future is on this one Just try and live in the moment at the more you do the practice you get the easier it becomes not because the nature of the thing has changed but your ability to accomplish it does it gets better to ease into the networking and not psych yourself out look for low stakes situations that are going to generate success for you that’s why we encourage you to start with people you know the probability you’re going to have success it helps you get you to put this in the show notes we did an episode on having a wing man having a wing man has somebody that you can maybe take with you to a networking event or you can leave Indy to practice it’s coming along with you I think about a friend of mine who we met because we were both in one of the jobs But most everybody can I possibly bring really wondering is this worth my while will take somebody that’s going to make because if you’re having fun that’s gonna rip off people notice that you’re having a good time that is probably the most attractive thing that you can do one of the best pieces of advice I ever got whatever it takes to stay in the game to really understand the numbers it’s a numbers game you have to think of a game I think is it in activity however people Doing an application sometimes the conversion numbers that I’ve seen in my experiences for every person that you connect with Bert probably optimistic but LinkedIn is the best place to make that happen so 50% of the people you send a connection request in my experience of those temper set will respond to messages write some kind of back-and-forth message even though that sounds like a loan number we still recommend it if you’re connecting with someone send a personalized message because that gives them a reason to pay attention even if they didn’t read that message when you sent it by sending a follow-up message they can collaborate Phone or face-to-face know those numbers going into it I know I have to have staying power to see the results one thought that I like to remind people of it as you are reaching out to somebody to have a conversation are probably going to get something out of that conversation to be there next job it may not be anything more than just a good feeling of having had a nice conversation with a nice person but people who say yes you’re asking too much of them if they say yes I don’t have many opportunities to do it so when they pop up I get something out of it and remember that you’re bringing something to the game as well Sometimes we have to play at work or any of the negative connotations that come with playing games but then when you make play when you make play of your job it makes it less burden I don’t have a trademark on him and when you’re doing it whenever you can’t make it in before we go meet somebody how fun how fun meet someone learn all.