061 Managing The Voice In Your Head In Your Career

Careers faster whether you’re working or not today’s episode we’re talking about managing the voice in your head in fact this episode is brought to you by the Anatomy Logan to job seekers radio I’m Andrew and I’m Scott this production is meant to provide meaningful support find great what do you think would be a better question to ask what is it that I bring to the marketplace that other people could use that or series of questions that you might think about to open your mind to another possibility to direct your efforts to we’d like to help possibly to re frame the questions as they pop up questions are really powerful tool today is to sort of give some alternatives to these questions their common questions we hear them all the time and the work that we do and thing everyone has we all talk to each other to what degree may differ between people but we are always telling ourselves as story involved in a networking conversation and we have that as a free gift for you in today’s show we WanNa talk about managing the voice in your head that’s right everything emotionally speaking that makes you an exceptional employee and a great person right yeah and suddenly you don’t have answers a positive end for you which could be a promotion or whatever it is you’re seeking right coming back to the common question why am I not getting a job Andrew Day and we’re asking ourselves a lot of questions already if you’ve been in a job or are between jobs you’ve probably asked some of these questions of yourself a lot of times we build the story based on assumptions we make because we don’t know the answers to the questions we ask ourselves so we actually want to address that getting the job be clear on why you should get it whatever that job is now we get into we won’t go into detail on this podcast it’s an endless loop kind of question well especially because the answer could be different for every person you ask a exactly even if they were to tell you the truth that means there’s no answer you know what why am I not getting promoted right why did that person get the role and not me a why did I not get a callback why have I not been if you’re asked about your branding statement or how to market yourself and your abilities but that’s the direction this takes when you have a clear answer to that question working why have I not been included in conversations that affect my team and this can affect your your mindset everything yeah and your confidence one I if you’ve been unemployed for any length of time it’s likely you’ve asked yourself whether or not you’re employable that is another very common question so what we wanted are there is beneficial or that I feel I’m I’m here to do right that that’s a great way to turn it around instead of looking at why you’re aw when the question comes up why not getting hired let’s start by reframing it about what do I bring to the table and be very cautious of verse redirect your mind into something way more productive exactly and we use them in coaching all the time in our objective here today really is to give you a list and that can be frustrating that can be deflating. There’s a lot of reasons why I would not use a why question so here’s another question really any y question because often it could be something that has no answer right that you continually well why don’t have that don’t have this and it just why did I not get that interview when I’m qualified what is the process inside that company to get to interviews a lot of people don’t know that I mean made it systems to accept and and manage the resumes that were coming in and I just sort of laughed that off because this is were fairly new in terms of the technology but it was surprising to me how quickly even small companies I don’t know if from one company to the next or even one requisition to the next right or one recruiter to the next what that process is inside that company to get to it interview now ten years ago if you had told me well actually people had told that companies were were using more and more companies were using Ah jumped onto that bandwagon because it freed up their time well it when you think about that becoming the norm that could be an answer right there while you’re not getting the interview however the one way to twist that is going to be what is bringing me the interviews that I am getting so now you’re looking at objective data rather than the subjective assumptions and you can work with that more easily and that’s tailored to your experience Sir I’m good with that here’s another question how do I know if I’m interviewing well and how do I get better why are they not giving me feedback well a lot of times you’re likely to find an answer okay because your mind is designed to search for it okay we’re looking for patterns right exactly and so the question that I get a lot is how long is this rich I’d be sipping on my tie in Maui talking to you right well we’d be doing it together you go in Maui Oh practices the thing you control exactly it’s in your locus of control how the interview turns out is not in your control right right so for you it would be a different answer but because you asked yourself the answer you’re GonNa find it and that’s the nice thing about this process if you ask yourself the answers or the question go back and practice that interview review it with someone that I trust and who is a good interviewer we all know somebody in our lives who does a fairly recreate it you can take any of these negative focused questions and turn them right around to the positive absolutely why is it well then and I always come back with the same answer there’s nothing wrong with you now what can you do differently and that question is answered had the experience where you felt you knocked that interview out of the park and that was it you get the rejection email a week or two later doing wrong or what’s what am I missing what am I doing wrong what am I missing presumes that something is missing so how would you turn that one around well I generally when that’s because they don’t want to get themselves into any legal trouble right what can I do instead that is a better question what can I do to practice my interviewing skills that are totally outside your control and we beat ourselves up over those unnecessarily and I’m sure both have anybody listening to this I’m sure so I’m GonNa ask you who can you talk to that could help you practice who might be able to do some role playing with you yet whatever you have learned from your experiences so when you think about the things that have worked what in your past have you done that God a position that I’m well qualified for whatever it’s entirely possible that I am projecting something that is and there’s no explanation for it no connection at all it’s not in my control is the answer to that question instead of beating myself up I can always way to recreate that moment if whether it’s what you said how you set it with whom you’re speaking whatever that is is there a way for you to when I get a lot Scott is I’ve been at this now for nine months what’s wrong with me I get that question to give an asked that question the job are you aware of anything that was within your control you feel put you in the best position is there for those who haven’t done that before it is great practice so the next time you have an interview you’re already prepared the other question coming from that place of feeling down or feeling Under qualified inadequate was I was looking for and so now was a nurturing environment albeit they weren’t able to help me get a job because it was family but by changing okay whether you get a call back or a second interview or an offer or they pull that requisition I mean there’s so many different things that can happen at after an interview at these questions that really this is about what’s going on inside your own head I will turn that to what’s going on for you right now because often the job interview so role play with that person okay these are the things that we talked about this is what I said get do a little bit role playing even on it may feel a little odd do right now to feel better about my situation and there’s usually something now when I was unemployed for three year period by the end of that three years that was what we are feeling in the moment we project somehow we’re not always aware of how so if I’m not really feeling good about myself even though I go to an interview and it’s it’s I instead think about what’s going on for me what is it where am I right now in this moment I can then ask the next question what can because we’ve been in those situations and we don’t want to present any of these ideas as platitudes that’s the one thing that was really mindset before the conversations with potential employers I think is what helped me get there and this is probably a good point for us to pause and very difficult question for me to ask but I could still find positive things in the people that that supported me and the environment that I was in that one really acknowledge that everybody is at a different place of their search and they’re all struggling with different things so we’re not we’re not trying to belittle take take for me to find a job or how long is it going to take for me to get promoted or whatever it is in the blink if we could answer that question for everybody it’s probably a bad one right right well actually this would be a positive why right why is it that all these companies paid you to do the work that you did oh I love that as we think about that even one small tweak can totally change your trajectory you think about three hundred sixty right that’s why did why would they do that right I did this job why you so we do the five wise but the other one I get a lot is what am I doing will the process or in some way make you feel lower than you currently are by by going through these kind of conversations point it we’re only doing this the easier it becomes not because shifting is easy but because your ability to do it changes as you practice I heard a similar metaphor in that was boiling water a book call two hundred and twelve degrees that a water goes from being a solid right right to learning going because you will find things are working better or worse okay what shift do I need to make to move in the other direction and as you get more skilled at that Greece around us and that’s you know full degrees we’re not too separating them into point five right the idea is you change your repeat that we know we shouldn’t so true and and in that we expect a different result that that is the definition of insanity right doing the same thing and expecting something different action by one degree in the short term that’s really not very far after a while you’re further and further away from where you had been headed take that one I and the power of questions so when you think about your own moment where you’re struggling where you’re wondering what the Heck is wrong with me or why am I not you just aren’t skilled at that yet or who are in an emotional place where they just can’t ask themselves that question that’s when you reach out to somebody who can strating for me when I was unemployed for a long period was when people are trying to reassure me and they say oh your your next job is just around the corner how many corners three shift and take it as far as you can and if that’s not working then you shifted another degree and you keep that that not employable that is the moment where you have to ask yourself a better coaching question and coach yourself and for those who rest give yourself permission to take a break often we are hardest on ourselves and I know people might be thinking with that statement Lagasse right the liquid to gas at two hundred twelve degrees so it’s interesting how one degree can make such a transformational chain gray so so the one that you may come up with a what what adjustments can I make to move my search forward yeah and in my current situation sure because sometimes really take the easy way out of any given situation or the path of least resistance to get something done that’s usually a learned behavior everyone starts play in your search get out of the house take a ball where can I go to gain better perspective on my situation right and most people have a place that they like to go the job or whatever they’re they’re doing maybe a break from work that they get to choose medical they start out with the best of intentions remember that HR is generally there within the company one to protect it from its we keep doing the same things and we’re not getting the results you gotta change something yeah otherwise we are insane by definition there’s certain things environment right and looking at something different you know I think the other thing that I hear a lot is I put in all these applications why yeah I mean I think the good point that you had there that I took away from that Scott is this idea of self coaching is that you can take any one of these questions we’re talking about and craft your own yeah right so you’re asking yourself another question a well but but the idea is we are both coaches we understood in a job search and sometimes it just takes a break so that you can get the rest you need the emotional rest and then you can get all of your energies back at is about the processes they need to have everyone go through to provide a good workplace so that’s not taking anything away from really inspiring HR people the too much detail about the history of why were called human resources and and all that and right now the trend is to change it’s just we have laws regulations processes compliance whatever it looks like within our industries we have things that we have to comply remember that they probably don’t have the bandwidth to really reach out the way we’d like them to and we’re all in that same boat at some point in our careers yeah but that person that I know he’s lazy well let’s not think about that because lazy people are really in the minority they truly are if you’ve known people recruiter whether that’s through an automated system or otherwise that can differentiate me from the rest of the applicants or what is also there to process the information the companies about the people working there it’s not as much about the people itself as implies and potential employees meaning avoiding legal liabilities right it’s getting any results or why why is it that companies are not treating me as a candidate like a human being even though they’re called human resource right I won’t get it not reading a book or doing a listening to a podcast like she has one or whatever and I also we’ve talked about it in the past but the idea that’s what stops them is a whole bunch of other conversations that happen so what we’re trying to do here is to stop ourselves from having those negative conversations that keep us down acme what’s what’s wrong with me and going down that road instead asking what could I bring to that HR person that and wherever you can find it right yeah we can help with that or just listened to oliver are episodes over to listen to US yeah well see south of break it if you’re like me and you just don’t stop you have your goal and you keep pressing and you keep pressing and you keep pressing in you eventually get tired it’s so think about that you know what can you do what is the what is the one thing you could do today to put you one step closer to where you want to be is that we can actually avail ourselves off if we take the time and effort to find them then there’s the dreaded yes no questions which I think are they don’t service very well knew what he was thinking right no I I it’s too late I doubt I have doubt so all that does fuel my internal doubt about myself yeah with and so that’s often what takes up most of the time of hr so as you’re feeling like you’re being dehumanized as we’re looking at this remember that they do have processes that you’re