056 Am I Being Ghosted? And What To Do About It?

Ghosting is a recent phenomenon where candidates are left in the cold during the hiring process. Although it doesn’t feel good, Scott and Andrew discuss some strategies on how to deal with ghosting to move your search forward.

Don’t miss these Topics:

  • What is ghosting and when does it occur in job search
  • Strategies to deal with ghosting
  • The role of networking in overcoming the silence
  • The reasons for ghosting¬†
  • Mindset for success when you are ghosted

Resources (including affiliate links)

 

iTunes: Rate and Review

Raw and Unedited Transcript

View Transcript


00:00 – 05:03

We are talking about ghosting and i don’t mean ghostbusters yeah or anything of that nature now. We’re not talking about the paranormal so not normal but that’s something else so by ghosting. We mean that radio silence you hear after hiring team has demonstrated interest in you and the role had promised we’re going to move forward and it could be the company. It could be a networking contact. It could be anybody the idea that someone has expressed interest in you in in some fashion to some degree and then as you send your follow up or you’re you’re trying to get feedback. You don’t hear anything back whenever i am asked about this. I always start with the idea that it probably has nothing to do with you. This is one of those and i know we’ve said this. Empire podcast is one of those things where it’s hard not to wonder. What did i do wrong when most of the time name it has nothing to do with you. That’s great advice scott but i did the networking. I did the application. I’ve been through interviews. They said they were gonna send me. An offer and heaven only knows. I have been in a position where i was. The hiring manager and something happened happened where we had to delay higher out. I had the presence of mind to let the applicant. No you know we’re we’re having to put this on. Hold will understand if you find another job before this one is we can move forward on it. That’s the thing a lot of people get busy and they don’t think about the things they don’t think about in getting back to an applicant is probably one of those things they don’t think about. Try not to take it personally. If there is something to learn from it. The lesson will show it is is what it is right and you don’t control the internal workings of an organization that means you should go to the next one. Yes it also means. You need to take notes. What does that say about the organization. Is that something that’s happening. Consistently with them is this indicator of what the future looks like for you. That’s a really you want an organization where you feel like you’re being valued. I been in the situation and i’ve talked to people when when you’re unemployed. It’s really hard to pick and choose if you are in a position where you need a job. It’s hard not to just take whatever comes salaam to your point. If you’re taking notes on how they treat the applicant the chances are pretty good. They’re going to be treating their their employees the same way so if the treatment you’re getting an applicant isn’t what you would want to deal with on the job bear that in mind as you continue to tried to to work your way in there may be some unpleasantness involved <hes> if you actually landed the job and this cuts both ways that means if you have control control over the ghosting. You probably not do it. Thank you and if you’re the company or you’re the applicant doesn’t matter don’t goes people. I think the the easy explanation for a lack of follow up is that it’s out of sight outta mind. Oh i forgot and okay. It’s also just as easy when you put the appointment on your calendar to actually meet with this person at that time. Put a reminder for a week later to follow up and it’s a very simple process or even schedule another meeting. I think that’s valuable advice. If you’re in a position where you had an interview and you are not clear on on the next step schedule something to have a follow up meeting not hey. I’ll just follow up in a week. I think about this. There have been times when someone asks me what what what can we do to follow up and really. I want as the hiring manager control over that because i don’t know how long it’s gonna take me to get through the interviews it. I don’t know exactly when the start times would be and so. I want to maintain a certain amount of control with that sad. I’m also aware that somebody very who’s looking for work needs to know what the next steps are and that we follow up in a timely way so there are all sorts of excuses why i people don’t follow up. Don’t be that person. Don’t be the one who lacks the follow up. Be sure that you’re sending follow up and it is critical. If it’s a position you’re actually interested in that applies for the candidate. The applicant is will so if you’re in hollywood and you’ve been given. Let’s say they even said hey. I’m sending can you offer inherit is or hey.


05:03 – 10:00

Here’s an offer you accept and you don’t show up for work right well. I mean these. Are that has happened to me where i hired. Someone who never showed obviously won’t hire them again. Just know that the says a lot about your brand it does and do you want that brand going forward because i don’t no no about your town but here in portland it’s a small community you know and people will find out eventually and and you’re going to rent out a references at that point. I do think that there are good reasons. Why people don’t follow up but the the really good reasons are few and far between the one thing that i would do though is if you find that you’ve you’ve dropped the ball on that when you do contact the other person and let them know hey. I know i dropped the ball. I apologize. I’d like to get everything back contract by owning it. People are much more likely to give you a second chance. If you just sort of ignore the fact that you were supposed to contact them two weeks prior and hey just wanted to follow up <hes> they probably are not going to have the same in reaction. What we’re suggesting here is make sure that you follow up you own it and then actually follow up. You don’t want to create a series of times where you’re always having to apologize as well if every conversation starts with i’m sorry there’s a problem that means you know. I could list a thousand things right there too busy. They’re you too lazy. They’re they’re themselves looking for a job right on the corporate right right or you know like a friend of mine. <hes> just was diagnosed with cancer the answer i mean we don’t know who the person is on the other end of the line and and things happen that you don’t control that side of it you only control your own activities. That means what you can do about it is don’t make a promise it. You can’t sleep and don’t make an offer that you can’t follow up on it. There’s also the idea that you actually i think taught me years ago and how to follow up after you’ve made your application but follow up with other people in the organization to to try and see what the timeline looks like get a pulse on that job opening because i remember talking to someone i applied for prepositions was years ago applied for a position and it actually have been put on hold but they weren’t letting anybody know the recruiter. Wasn’t i happen to have a conversation with somebody else in the organization who was able to find out for me. Oh that’s been put on hold. I had a completely different reaction once. I knew that now as it happens i got a job somewhere else but at least i wasn’t wondering why that hasn’t worked out for me that it was again completely out control and had nothing to do with me in working talking to other people in the organization you get a better idea of how things flow anyway and if you know someone who has any contact with recruiting and at some point they probably did then you’re probably going to get a better idea of how things as function network end try different avenues to get information about the process and what you might learn is that in many organizations nations recruiting sits in a different function it’s not in the operation all the time right and that means they operate differently than the actual actual operation that you’re going to be working in. If it’s anything mid size or larger company you can guarantee that. The recruiters are working somewhere else. It may be the same building may not. They are going to be filling a very different role from what’s happening happening operationally. That’s why we encourage you if you’re not looking for jobs in h._r. Don’t spend a lot of time there if you don’t have to each are people will tell you that i’ve worked in h._r. Here for years and we’re not the ones you need to be spending your time and energy on unless you’re trying to get into our department okay. I’m trying to get in your your department scheduled the meeting right well. It’s something like that but at least you’ll be able to talk shop and you’ll have an idea of what they may. Maybe going through to your point unless you’re looking for a job in h._r. Don’t spend a lot of your time there. Yes if that’s the gatekeeper you want to build a a good relationship. That isn’t where the depth needs to happen. You should really be focusing on building your relationships with people in operations about operations operations and so they see you in their operations. Trust is a number one key to getting hired in that is really the only way to develop trust is through a referral or a direct relationship and what we’re suggesting is because h._r. Is a different function. It may operate differently and that means they may a. B.


10:01 – 15:08

understaffed. There may be a lot of reasons but no excuse makes it feel better when it happens. That’s true and what we i would encourage you to do is was just take another swing right. Go find another company. Remember what got you to that interview in the first place. Go do more that because you’re you’re gonna drive yourself. Crazy easy waiting for someone else to take action on your candidacy. I may have said this before but i generally follow the idea that you follow up the week. After an interview or initial contact i then wait two weeks for a second follow up. <hes> wait another two weeks with a third follow up and in that message say hey. I’m interested and i don’t want to pester you so i oh leave the ball in your court hope to hear from you and leave it at that because if after six weeks you haven’t heard from them it’s time to move on it may be time to move on. It may be time to just send him on incubation schedule to follow up with the person in the operation reassure your h._r. Gatekeepers at that the the abbot of the active follow-up is really keep that short allowed that relationship to live on its own mm-hmm as best you can through your networking with the people in the industry that do what you wanna do not about the job itself and don’t stop looking until tell the day you start work. I agree my to someone can promise you an offer that doesn’t mean you’re going to get one. I’ve known people who are given an offer they accept the offer and then something happens to end the job was discontinued so they never got hired and so they never started right. Never stop looking until the day you start work and this is coming from a lot of experience on this site of the microphone right is i’ve seen it more than once where someone they’re in a search. They went through all the interviews they got the promise of of an actual offer and say what my job’s done and they stopped looking. The offer never came in. They were two two three weeks down the road. Hey where’s my offer right. Sorry it’s not common and now i’m starting from zero. I have no other opportunities -tunities in the pipeline. I echo your advice. Don’t stop looking until your first day on the job if you’re to look at that kind of idea this relates a lot to what we talk about in terms of mindset and the mindset is. I’m not stopping until i’m never stopped looking. I’m always gonna network. You’re right. It’s keeping that rhythm rhythm that cadences going even though hey i’ve got the job and i started working. I’m not gonna stop. I’m gonna start this process over again with a little more deliberate approach coach proactive whenever that looks like right something that says okay. You know what i do believe in fairy tales okay. Every story has a happy ending. What’s your mindset. Is that okay. I’m going to go look for the next happy ending highly. That’s a great idea the wherever you thought you know so you said earlier imagined right imagine agean what it would be like right and if that happened what would that mean for you right. You started thinking about that for yourself. Ultimately i’ve known of several people well who couldn’t find their happy he so they created their own and they went into business for themselves. Now that’s not necessarily for everybody that also is an option and and when i’ve been on that fine edge where you do the consulting work and people don’t wanna hire a consultant because they don’t want your time and attention drawn away from there were but at the same time i will never stop doing what i love doing a you can either employ me full-time and i’ll devote myself to it or if you’re not going to engage me then that’s fine. I’ll do what you need me to but i’m going to continue to do the things that i love and it can be a hobby for now. What what else side-hustle would have you know contracting a freelance thing on the side. How common is the gig economy now. Many of us have second secondary and dairy of of course we can go into a whole podcast dark side gig but the the idea here is that ghosting happens yes but it’s not your problem. It’s it’s the company’s problem and they need to do something about it. If you talked to any forward thinking h._r. Leader he’s going to tell you we would never operate that way and that’s how you know that you have a good h._r. Department is how do they treat their candidates because they recognize that the candidate is also possibly a customer car or also is gonna carry that into the future and with things like glass door. They can’t afford that. That’s another podcast that we can do but i really don’t don’t be the ghost and don’t take it personally when you’re ghosted that does it for this episode of job seekers radio you can get all the show notes and resources in the link down down below or at job seekers radio dot com forward slash zero five six while you’re there.


15:09 – 16:21

You should see the link to a free resource that we’ve created. It’s called anatomy of networking conversation. It’s an e book that andrew and i put together would love it if you’ve download that and take it to heart yes and it comes actually with a series of audio so there’s the there’s the book and then there’s audio that comes with that walks you through the anatomy of the conversation itself so thank you for joining us for this episode of job seekers radio. Your investment of time time and attention is greatly appreciated head on over to itunes and subscribe to get those future episodes while you’re there click. The five-star plays ways. I don’t know you don’t have to cook five star but at least leave us a rate and review. We liked the feedback and we like to spread the message so do whatever you can. If you have questions for us. Let us know there are multiple ways to get in touch with us so let us know if there’s something that you want us to discuss specifically and we’ll be happy to do that while i’m andrew and i’m scott until next time according to justin timberlake the best part about being alone is that you really don’t have to answer to anybody. You do what you want.


ANATOMY OF A NETWORKING CONVERSATION

Free!