074 The Top 10 Worst Assumptions You Can Make In Your Career

You know what assumptions do? Make an a$$ out of you and me. You’ve probably heard that one before.

Scott and Andrew discuss the top career assumptions that can impact your career negatively.

Top 10 Worst Assumptions:

  1. Leaders will see your performance and promote you for doing a good job.
  2. Your coworkers have the same values that you do.
  3. Everyone works just as hard as you do.
  4. Don’t need to learn anything new to be successful.
  5. No one knows more than you do.
  6. Everyone communicates the same way you do.
  7. The norms of work-life will remain constant under new leadership.
  8. The reason that your career isn’t where you want it to be has nothing to do with you.
  9. A company won’t layoff or terminate your employment because you are “too valuable.”
  10. That people trust you.

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00:00:01 – 00:05:01

locum job seekers radio. I’m Andrew and I’m Scott this production this podcast is meant to provide you the listener meaningful support support to find great careers faster. And that’s whether you’re working or not. Today’s episode is brought to you by the anatomy of a networking conversation. This is an e book doc. A free resource that we’ve created and you can download it at job. Seekers radio DOT COM do it today. Don’t miss out. Don’t Miss Today’s episode. We’re talking talking about a very common situation. That comes up the ten worst assumptions you can make in your career and this is coming from combined. Work Experience no no say accounting. Yeah I have. We have a lot of experience and making these worst assumptions. We leave and and I wish I could say that I don’t anymore Is Part of the human. I’m an experience. We do make assumptions and sometimes they don’t lead us where we think they should. We want to go over a list of things that we think are the most those common and probably the worst assumptions that we can make when we get into conversations whether that’s in an interview in a networking conversation in a work conversation. You’re on the job and maybe you’re having an important conversation with someone else. Then again. It may be what you think is an unimportant conversation that might lead somewhere. These are assumptions that we have made. Generally we would agree that these were trip. Everybody up and it’s not like we’re not still making some of these assumptions. We’re we’re just articulating these to actually speak to ourselves as well as we go through our careers to make sure that we’re taking consideration of all of them and not assuming assuming that we aren’t going to have an assumption we do we will always. How do we minimize the impact? That some of these assumptions have and and if we can avoid these that we’re gonNA be talking about. I think it’s going to help get us to where we WANNA be. The first assumption is assuming others will see your performance and you’ll be offered a promotion because of it. We all hope for that. We are working in a culture where hard work pays off. That’s that’s the myth and for a lot of people that actually works. There’s more to it than just hard work. We want to make sure that people have their eyes wide open to all of the things that happen. We talk about politics at work. Nobody really likes. I can’t say nobody. Few people really enjoy the politics at work. Many people have figured out how to navigate it. I’m reminded of when I first came out of college. I got my first job out of college at a Columbia Sportswear and it was a company any. I really wanted to have a long career with and I made an assumption that if I worked hard kept my nose to the grindstone right. Did good work and that people would see. See it and put me into a slot and say hey you know. If you’re going to consider somebody for that position you should look at Andrew and that never happened at least not for coming and then when it got to the point where that position came open and I wanted and I applied for it they said I wasn’t qualified so the interesting thing is even though that I knew I can do the job. They were aware of any of the things that I had done. And so many times we hear people say oh well. I don’t want to toot my own horn or for. I don’t want to sound conceited. Will you can take that too far if you never to your own Horn and you never talk to people about your accomplishments the things that you are able to do especially when it comes to learning and growing in your career. They’re not going to think about learning and growing in your career. Who else is going to speak up for you? If you’re not going to speak up for yourself one of the things that I think about when you were talking is what do you call it. When you withhold the truth? Oh well that would be a lie of omission right so so if you have the truth inside of you should not share with somebody. I like that perspective. Yeah that’s how I look at. I encourage all my clothes coaching clients to do that have taught me me work hard. You’ll be recognized. Always be humble. Don’t talk about yourself. All these things that fall under the category of manners and they’re still that’s not to you say you shouldn’t follow those ideas and think it was a silent cynic talk about leadership needing humility and there are a couple of others that have talked about that. But I’m pretty sure it was signed that that was the one that I was watching at the time An interview that he had given where humility is the sort of the linchpin for leadership. But you can be humble while still letting people know about the things that have worked for you and that where the achievements that you have been able to make that brings us to the second worst assumption option you can make in your career and that is assuming your boss your manager your leader. Whoever it is? Your coworker has the same values. You have he professionally speaking.

00:05:01 – 00:10:02

Of course well regardless I would say that no human being has exactly the same values that I have now. The advantage of working in an organization where where values are a part of the culture meaning that they are stated they are aligned. All of the behaviors within the company are supposed to fall in the Guidelines of those values that makes it a little easier but we’re talking about categories or some broad generalizations for those values but every single individual is going to have their own set of values based on a plethora of factors and none of them are going to be the same so making the assumption that somebody values the same things just because we’re working the same organization or on the same team. Doing the same kind of work is a huge mistake. I think of one of the clients on coaching at a local organization here very large one by away and I keep thinking about you know this idea of leadership and she’s going into this interaction saying this is leadership. What I’m getting from? My leader or is not leadership. It’s something else and that’s where you come into situations where you have conflict and we would not encourage you to get into a conflict without some productive reductive positive outcome to process speaking specifically values had. I’ll never forget the conversation. I had many years ago with a director director with whom I worked several years prior to that and I was complaining to her about this exact scenario where I had a boss who. Let’s just say the successes assesses that she achieved didn’t seem to be tied to her actual work and I was going into some detail with my director friend who stopped opt me and told me but Scott. She’s doing what heard leaders value. They just value something different. And that was an important moment in my professional career was to realize that I’m not necessarily aligned with these individuals specific values. It was a learning moment for me. Learning is the key to success in today’s market now is the third assumption. You can make is assuming everyone works as hard as you. Yeah and there’s the other side of that the assumption that no one works as hard as you both of them were talking about hyperbole really and it’s like saying always always or never neither of those has ever true there’s always some gray area. Everything is shades of gray. If the idea is that you work really hard be be sure that people know that you work really hard. Just you shouldn’t be wearing this as some kind of badge of honor because you’re not the only one who works that hard. They’re probably are people who are working harder than you. And so how do you deal with that. Well if I find out that there’s somebody who works harder than me how do I emulate them. How can I work with them? especially those who work really hard and are getting noticed. What’s the secret sauce there? How can I learn how to make that secret sauce? It boils down to your definition initiative of hard work and everybody’s definition’s going to be different sure is I’ve heard of. I haven’t met this person yet of leaders that are like the twenty eighty four seven version of a manager right. There are sending you emails at two o’clock in the morning expecting a response. They’re working every weekend right there. The twenty four four seven leader and they think they have to do that in order to be perceived as an effective leader. Or they’re telling you because they used to do your work. This is the one that seems to Dr everyone crazy as it seems to be universal. They’ve done your work so they they will tell you how to do your work. And they don’t understand that they have just shifted into micromanagement. Went and I have yet to meet the worker. Who wants to be micromanaged now? There are some who actually use that in their favor so they don’t have to do the critical thinking. We’re going to set those aside side the idea that your you work harder than everyone else or that. Everyone works as hard as you were really coming back to the idea that people have different values they have different indefinite of success. In to your point they have different definitions of what hard work really is rather than making the judgment between them. Let’s learn what works six. What is it about that? Person’s work the one that you think has had success. What have they done that you have done that? You have the things that you have not done. What is that combination a nationwide? Can you learn from them because if you have if you start out with the sense of curiosity you’re probably going to get a lot. Further than living in that state of hyperbole only that brings us to the fourth assumption. PD backing on what Scott said. And that’s assuming you don’t need to learn anything to be successful right huge mistake. Take Huge Mistake. I’ve got all sorts of stories on this I’ll try not to talk too much As if that would happen. No I two stories come to mind instantly. The first one was talking talking with a very good friend of mine who actually is a consultant in and does leadership coaching himself. He was telling me a story about Out negotiating with a business leader.

00:10:02 – 00:15:17

Who Basically told him? Oh No I don’t need this development but I want you to train my people and I’m here to tell tell you that doesn’t work if the senior leader is not in the trenches with his people learning with them and sponsoring that learning opportunity with a sense of accountability accountability and mutual learning and growth. And all that It’s not going to work. And so he told this guy okay just write a check. I’ll bank it and we’ll call it debt and the leader looked cut him funny. He said if you don’t participate in the learning you’re wasting everyone’s time and I don’t want to waste my time. I’ll just take the check and run and of course. He was escorted handed out the door. His point was if you’re not learning you’re not leading and there are others stat. Tell that story as well. I have some some quotes on that on my own website. There’s also a situation of my client companies that I’m currently working for. It was really interesting to me. I was asked to do some training specifically play on style preferences for the Organization and rolling this out to the group and one of his managers had suggested that the level of leadership over him when benefit from this so I contacted them and his leader told me he’s already been through the basics and he didn’t need it fast forward three months data leader was was let go because he wasn’t growing with the organization. It’s sort of. Here’s real life example of if you’re not learning you’re not leading and the assumption assumption that he didn’t have to learn anything more at least on this topic. The thing is that an indicator of actually his attitude it ended that part of his career career. And it could end your career to whether you’re leader or not right if you allow yourself to atrophy. That muscle is not going to be effective. If you want to me well how should on style. Well how do you stay up to date exactly you know. Here’s the thing. Is that the skills required to be successful. Ten years ago aren’t always as skilled successful today. So what’s going to be needed in ten years if you’re not growing with whatever it is that you’re working with. How are you going to be ready? I mean I think my dad that way. He was a civil level engineer and he was a big drafting. Kinda Guy Right. He had that big drafting table. You know the pencils and erasers and the slide rule I mean everything thing manual sure and then autocad came on the scene right so now I have cad computer. Aided drawing program that does all this stuff for me he wasn’t willing to learn that -Tario And he became irrelevant now. It’s also interesting when when you think about Assuming you don’t need to learn anything there’s also the aspect that assuming assuming that what you learned in the past isn’t going to help you and then we sort of shift the tables to getting back to basics. The work that I do specifically is about getting back to the basics of human interaction. And how that doesn’t change. It’s the tools we use that changes as I work with organizations on Skilling up employees because that organization knows that. There’s a subset that they’re not going to be relevant anymore. But they don’t want to lose their employees. So how do we build their skills. Also that they’re ready for the next iteration of work that they’re doing. This is the kind of thing that we’re an organization that is smart enough to realize that they have to skill up out there people for the future. Those people actually have a fighting chance to stay relevant. But how do you do that on your own. Well the idea that you don’t have to learn anything new you to stay where you need to be. That’s going to be the first thing you want to jettison. Get rid of that idea. Keep learning and there are so many examples out there of top hop leaders in business top leaders. I think in just about anything. It could be something outside of business. One of the key things that they keep talking about is this thing. Never stop learning that brings us to the next assumption and that is assuming everybody has the same information or the same available information or or. I guess this could be. No one knows more than you. You’re the subject matter expert. I think that’s a good position to be in. It’s not where I would want to live all the time I because that means I’m not growing there’s also another side of that. The the idea that someone should know something that may or may not be true. I think where I liked to get people to start with this. Assumption is what is happening right now. Okay so maybe you do more no more then a lot of other people and I think about someone. I know. I’m actually related to him. Who knows a lot about a lot of things but he also is completely devoid of empathy? And so there’s a lack of self awareness there and the idea that he knows more than so many other people and he actually knows what to do with that information. That’s great for him he. He’s been very successful in his career. He makes more money than Moses. An amazing how good his life is now. I would be really interested to find out if he actually considers itself happy because not all his behavior says he has the idea that he assumes that he knows more puts him in a certain certain box and people talk about as being something of a Prima Donna and being a know it all and that’s not necessarily where I would want to be.

00:15:17 – 00:20:03

There’s also the side that okay. Hey everybody else knows more than me and does that. Put me in a situation where I’m approaching everything that I’m not enough that also in. Yeah that is a liability ability on unto itself. If we also made the mistake of assuming that the person that I’m talking to should know something we can open a door that we didn’t didn’t really intend to open and that has also happened to me. That’s often when you get stuck in your in your own mind or your own work and you assume somebody around you. You can see what you’re doing right and the objective. And maybe they were. Maybe you assume they were even copying on an email. Not only that. But you’re assuming they actually read it. The experience I’ve had most often was having a conversation with someone that we were talking about. Leadership Skills and what it would take to build that person’s division in terms of how to get people people moving along to overcome the problems they were having it specific branches of their business that sort of thing and so she put me in touch with her leader. It was basically an interview where she was talking to me about value that I might be able to bring the organization and I assumed that she had the same knowledge as the person who had introduced me to her and and in fact I was mistaken. She did not have that knowledge and instead of exploring the information that I had given her she was more afraid trade of how she might look bad if I were to come in with an understanding of other aspects of her company any totally blew up in my face because I made the assumption that she should know the same thing as hurt subordinate and that was a problem. So what did I learn from this test. My assumptions I ask for clarification. Asking questions makes a huge difference because I had a similar experience. But it’s because I got a new leader and they assumed that I knew all of the things that they talked about the last year ear as regards to policy and execution of coaching. And I didn’t I didn’t have any of that information. And so instead of her coming and saying hey well what don’t you know. Here’s what you have to do. That brings us to the sixth assumption and that is assuming everyone communicates the way you do right. I do a lot of work in this space around style. Preference Communication preferences the whole interaction preferences. The model that I use is disk and there are a lot of brands of disc Out there but I do a lot of work with organizations on this and it really ties into what had happened to me with The leader that I was talking about this is true of all of us in terms terms of our instinct communication. We assume that everyone thinks and communicates the way we do that. Everyone approaches life. The way we do yes. There will be some differences that we can have an intellectual awareness about but we still approach things based on our own way of thinking and communicating. This is basically where conflict lick begins. Because I’m going to judge myself by my intentions and I’m going to judge others by their behaviors and I will judge their behaviors based on what I would be thinking or feeling if I were to do or say the same thing. Well that’s the first problem bringing coming back to the example that I just talked about this this leader or who didn’t know what her subordinates. New I also expected that she would communicate with me the way I understood her style preference to be. Because she is the influential windchill type and she’s very enthusiastic and very positive. What I’ve failed to remember in that moment was how she behaves at work is different for whatever reasons and I won’t go into the reasons why I think she does behave the way she does? She took what I had to say in a way that would be different for her her if she were to say the same things or to bring up the topics that I brought up if she were to do it she would be thinking or feeling something very different and what I lacked act in. That moment was a recognition of her responses to the information that I was giving I was just giving her information I thought she already knew I was just confirming. That was my mistake steak and she probably gave me some communication cues that I missed granted. It was over the phone I still. I miss them because I was assuming that I had read her correctly in terms of her communication style about her values about all these things instead what I have been able to do since that conversation because I still have some interaction with her. I’ll be a distant. It has been really instructive for me because now I can approach her in a more correct way if you will certainly more effective effective way and still be authentic that brings us to assumption number seven assuming the norms and the accepted work practices that you’re involved in stay consistent when you get a new leader or even a new team member.

00:20:03 – 00:25:03

Oh that is a good point. I’m working right now. With an organization that has a new senior vice vice president coming into a large division. Actually this is the third one. I think they’ve had just within the last six months. So we’ve seen some huge turnover among senior leaders as well as a middle managers. Heaven only knows what has been going on with their their frontline employees. They’ve been dealing with a lot of change at the highest levels and so the idea that that new leader is going to come in and simply pick up where they left off is a huge mistake huge mistake. Because there’s there’s a reason why the old leader isn’t there. There’s a reason why this new leader was brought. And it’s probably not to maintain the status quo. This is where it requires a little heightened awareness ernest on your side to not assume that that leader in the norms that you remember were valid are going to continue and that means you need to make sure you confirm take some extra steps meet with your new leader understand what the new norms might look like moving forward right and make sure that you know what those are before you start down the path of continuing with the norms that were and then you run against the norms. That should be right and you have a problem and I also think about how this applies to. Those who aren’t in an organization mutation are not currently working. And they’re looking for work if you know who the leader used to be. Don’t assume that the practices that that leader the former leader had are currently currently in play under new leadership. I can think about an organization that I actually under customer but I happen to have some contacts within the organization. Shen where I know that they have a new head of HR and so just a people side of their business has shifted rather dramatically just in the last few months since the new HR are person came on once again. If you know that there’s been a change don’t assume that what used to be true is still true things may be changing and that may actually actually be your opportunity to move into a really good position and where your skills can shine. Always keep your head on a swivel. Yeah always keep your earthly the not on the Pike. Yeah exactly well you want to be there that brings us to assumption number eight assuming that your career isn’t where it’s supposed to be isn’t about you. Let’s unpack that a little bit. The idea that your career isn’t where it’s supposed to be all right. This brings us back to what we were talking about. Someone should know. Oh something there are. No should don’t should yourself yeah it gets messy. Don’t go there so when you’re thinking about where my my career is supposed to be. What really matters is where you are? What are you dealing with right now and I come back to Eckert toll? I and I know that that he became popular after Oprah talked about the power of now it actually was a really good book for me to read it resonated a lot when I came away with is you can’t do anything about where you are versus your goal role without addressing. What is happening right now? Because that’s the only thing that matters what’s happened in the past yes you can learn from it. That’s the part that matters. But that’s what you carry in the now. What happens in the future? It hasn’t happened yet. There’s nothing you can do about it other than what you’re doing right now if your career isn’t where you wanted it to be that’s a different thought. Don’t don’t go to the place of where it’s supposed to be because now you’re shooting. I should be somewhere. Well accept the fact that you aren’t now you can move on onto whether or not it’s all about you. This is where ownership comes in. We need to own where we are right now. We need to own the path up until today today and yes there may have been some influences that enchanted us. There’s no doubt about that. Take ownership of what today is giving you and decide. Where do I want to go in the future and make that adjustment and if you can do that ownership is really something that I would encourage everybody or the word responsibility? I’m responsible for my career. I’m taking ownership of my career. I am the arbiter. The agent of change coming back to the idea of hyperbole. The always are never. I really really struggle to help people who say oh well. It’s always about me. I’m the common denominator in all of these failures. So that must mean blank. No it doesn’t it. It’s never an always situation. Isn’t that kind of irony. There the idea though is yes. There are elements that you played into. And that’s the the part that you own. That’s where the responsibility comes in. But there are things outside your control as well so then you moved to the other side. Oh well it’s people succeed only because of the brakes that they’re given no that’s not true either. It’s not only the opportunities that they faced. It’s really a combination of the two. Am I in this position. Now because I’ve lacked breaks. Wchs well yeah maybe in some cases but it’s also based on some of the choices that I’ve made now is it completely based on the choices I made some people say yes I oh I think there’s an element of chance involved in the world.

00:25:03 – 00:30:04

The chance of getting those breaks one percent of actors and I think that might even be generous. One percent of actors really become household names one percent that means ninety nine percent. Never do but that doesn’t mean that they weren’t successful in their careers that they they weren’t really good actors. It just means that they didn’t have quite the same combination of breaks decisions all those other things. Some of it is on the other side. This says where I think it really pays to avoid blaming. Oh thank blaming somebody else blaming yourself blaming your circumstance ask blaming the world or the political leader of the day that you don’t like here’s the thing just the blame much like assumptions blaming doesn’t do anything conductive it doesn’t I find it to be counterproductive it slows you down. It takes your focus health. What you need it on? And that’s anything. Blame is the most counterproductive active effort. You’ll ever make so instead. What can you learn from it? How can you grow? That brings us to assumption number nine. Assuming accompany won’t fire air layoff. Terminate your employment just because you’re invaluable. Oh yeah or indispensable. That’s great their PROMS for that. Let’s just take for a moment. The idea that you are Are indispensable it you put yourself in a situation where you are the only person who can bring the value you bring to your organization. I have serious red flags flying in my head when I meet these types and they do exist. My first question is how on earth can can you move on with your career. If that’s your status that you are the only one who can do what you can do because there will come a day when that is no longer relevant. And you’re setting yourself up for that moment of suddenly being Willy Loman and not being able to move on with the world who has left you behind behind big big red flags of around being that indispensable but it also means that you can never take a vacation you can never take time off you can never be As good of a leader as you might be by developing the people around you. There’s just so much wrong with that picture. Well the think regardless of your circumstance that that any company isn’t gonNA fire layoff or terminate. You is foolish. Thanking every company has a situation where they might be going through some financial. WHOA I’m I’m not after the motivations of a layoff and I may not agree with it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist or it’s not reality because coach these people every day? I know there’s people out there that felt felt like. Hey I was with this company. Twenty twenty five thirty years. I gave them my heart soul. I have their logo tattooed on my my backside. Whatever that looks like okay? They’re that big of a fan for our listeners. He pointed to his arm. When I’m suggesting is is you can take it too far that hey I’m such a big Fan as this organization they they would never do that to me and to make that matter? Even worse is when you’re working for a company that says Oh that’s not our culture we don’t lay people off. Oh my goodness yes they do. I’m working with an organization that that is their motto albeit unprinted. They tell people all the time. Oh we’re not the type to lay people off. They do. We’ll just fire them. That’s not allow right. No I mean termination however you WANNA define it. The idea that you’re making the assumption that that you will not be laid off is a dangerous one because when the day comes when you or your colleague is it will change the way you view your company opening and you can prevent that by having an open mind and open is all of the time. That doesn’t mean that you have to become cynical. It doesn’t mean that you have to be distrustful distrustful. It does mean that you have to approach this that there are going to be times when the worst does happen. And you have to ask yourself if you’re prepared for it. The flip side sided that one. Though Scott is the idea that you’re completely dispensable to person who’s indispensable and the one that never thinks they’re good enough completely dispense so that we talked a little bit about that before but this is really where it comes into play the person who thinks that. Oh well I don’t have enough value to offer the organization as a manager manager or a leader. How do I get that person? Engaged enough to really be of value and they may have good reason they may they may have some reason for are feeling that they’re self-doubt takes over okay. I’m not going to suggest that those who deal with anxiety or depression or some of these other things that that really do play the real part of the workplace that they don’t have real reasons for having those feelings and that they can suddenly just talk themselves out of it I don’t mean to cast a net Over all of that but what I am suggesting is for those who approach their work that they are never good enough. They probably wouldn’t have been hired if they weren’t good enough. Let’s let’s change that conversation to talk about where they are good enough.

00:30:04 – 00:35:03

What does that look like and to work on that sense of self confidence because they do bring bring value to their work they do bring value perspective their history? The things that they’ve learned all of this can be used to their advantage and the advantage of the organization Asian they were can that’s really self-defeating situation that we need to help them through that because that can then lead to. Oh I’m assuming things will never get it better. Rhyme assuming there’s nothing this is the end right and then you’re like okay. How can it really get? This also plays into those who have been unemployed for a while especially the long-term longterm unemployed. I you know I’m an employable. Well that’s not true. Either you’re currently in a situation that you need some new perspectives. So what does that look like. And maybe baby bearing them up with the people who think they’re indispensable. I don’t know there needs to be a balance here. The advice that I would give someone in that situation especially in the dark place is is to say. Let’s have you talked to people who can talk about the value that you do bring and to build yourself up. From that point of view I would also give the the advice to say for instance a leader who thinks that they know more than everyone else or that they are in fact indispensable. Let’s talk about. How Oh you would prepare for that scenario of where you aren’t relevant anymore? What do we need to do in that case? And it’s not because you’re bad on either side of that. It’s how are you growing and are you too protective of your work and are you unwilling to hand some of that work off to somebody else so that you can take a vacation right right so as as a leader. I want to be able to see my team Pricey. Where’s the hurt? Where can I make better something? That’s not as it should be and that approach will also help you. If you’re the one in the dark place that how can I help others. Because that’s generally speaking an easy way to get out of that. Dark place is to start helping others. I well let’s get out of that dark place right now right with the tenth and final assumption assumption number ten assuming that people trust you and the flipside ride assuming that people don’t wow so where do you go from there. I mean I mean that right. Now we’re you know I’m not going to disclose too much but the leader that I was following at my company company had a medical event. And he’s no longer in the workplace okay and so someone is filling in for that person and this person. I don’t trust because I don’t know. Oh them right. The person that left complete one hundred percent trust or pretty close to right. So what do you do in that situation. You have to start over again and I think that’s true you also of those whom you distrust that you have a real reason not to trust. They are still good things that can come of that. It’s just going in with eyes wide open and I think that’s true on both sides of this coin at everyone trusts you or that. No one trusts you. Walk into every interaction with your eyes wide open and thinking thing about how can you serve the person in front of you whether that’s a leader a subordinate whomever how can I be of service to the person that I am currently dealing with because if I have that approach and with my eyes wide open to see how am I impact on this person. How are they responding? What are their values? And I’m not going to make a judgment on the first conversation either the first interaction I want to start watching for patterns. What are the values that this person holds through through their behavior? How am I validated ing than understanding those values well and accurately? How am I able to provide service to this person person within the realm of my work? But how am I able to help that person. I want to think about how how I’m landing how. I’m impacting how what I bring to. The table can be impactful to the observant of the other person. What patterns are there? How can I adapt my communication style L. or the way I talk about certain things whatever that is I wanNA make sure that? I’m not making assumptions. That trust has been established quickly or that trust cannot be established quickly. I want to be able to read what’s happening right now. And Watch for patterns over time just because you have or don’t have trust doesn’t I mean you can’t give trust meaning there’s things like you said you approach the situation and you give the trust with your eyes open. Think of it that way. If you’re giving trust what is that look like you know you give something to somebody else without expectation of return or volunteer. Do a project when you know they’re overworked right so there’s things that you can do. That will make you feel good about making a contribution or without having trust and so that’s where you might take some ownership at the situation and just because is you don’t have trust doesn’t mean you can’t perform no. I totally agree with you. And I think about the the concept that whatever you put out there is mirrored back to you and we think of this often then in terms of leadership and of course this comes through in my leadership.

00:35:03 – 00:37:53

Coaching all the time that it is incumbent upon the leader to show trust. I and I don’t remember to whom the quotas attributed but the idea that the only way to make someone trustworthy is to trust him. There’s there’s an element of Truth Matt. So I- talking to leaders about trusting in their people and they will get trusts in return. That’s not unique to leaders. I will do that with my leader to reveal certain feelings or be vulnerable to a certain point. I don’t Overdo it. I don’t reveal too much or I try not to but I will at least establish a certain level of vulnerability so hopefully hopefully I will get that back. And in showing up time after time in authentic and open way the likelihood that the other person will show Woah similarly is increased because they want report and acceptance. Sure just like you do so. That’s IT folks. That’s the ten worst assumptions. You can make I think in your career we helped this has brought value to your interactions moving forward if you want to follow up with us to get some more specific information action about the situation you’re currently in. We’ve got a way to do that. First of all go to job seekers radio DOT COM forward slash zero seven four. And and you’ll be able to see the show notes and all of the resources available for this topic on the ten worst suctions and at the same time. Go down to the bottom. And you’ll see a free resource and that’s the anatomy of a networking conversation. It’s an e book that’s got knives put together with companion audio. We did this series of podcasts. On the topic you can certainly go. Listen to those on on our website links and the resources are in a single document for your easy use in application -cation so ahead and go to the website. Download that our free gift to you. So with that said you’ll also be able to give us some feedback and that’s where if you Have something you want us to talk about in a future podcast than answers. The questions based on what. We’ve just discussed today. Please send us that information. You can find that on our website you can also go to itunes and you can subscribe to get future episodes. You can also leave us a review and in that review. ooh That’s another way for you to get feedback to ask US questions to let us know what’s on your mind. We are committed to making this a single greatest job seeking podcast on the Internet. We’ll want your help and doing that too. That’s why we need your help with topics questions anything on your mind right now. Guess what someone else probably has that same in question. That’s right and a lot of what we do comes from that so with that said I’m Scott and I’m Andrew in the words of Mark. Parker curiosity is life. Assumption is deaf. Thanks everybody bye bye.

Anatomy of a Networking Conversation

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