027 What to Do When you Get Laid Off – Where to Start

Andrew and Scott have been displaced a combined 9 times in their careers. We share ideas about processing and coping with a recent job loss from a layoff.

Don’t miss these Topics:

  • How to process after a surprise layoff.
  • Processing the grief.
  • Approaching the mental and emotional processing.
  • The power of time and how to manage it.
  • Seeking helpful coping mechanisms.
  • Where to find support organizations.
  • Strategies for doing networking when the layoff is “fresh”
  • Things I wish someone had told me when I was laid off

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I were talking about what do you do when you get laid off and how to approach that process and getting started you know how do you how do you process current statistics are changing but we know that this year good number of times someone has been out of work is much is a higher number than it used to be in years past. I am one that I have been laid off from jobs five times that’s not fired that’s actually laid off I can’t say that I’ve been fired. I’ve had four transitions in my career and so only one of those really a formal lay off for a corporation actually add a workforce reduction program which was a politically correct way of saying you’re fired. it’s happened to me where it is two cases I was looking for work either because I saw the writing on the wall or I was unaware of the political stuff that was going on and so we came as a huge surprise. and I think that is the scenario that’s hard when you’re not prepared emotionally much less professionally for your next move and when we when were terminated outside of our own control it really is hard on the eagle it’s hard on the finances because all of a sudden you often have to cover your own health benefits.

If you have done and all of the expenses that come with not having work anybody who’s gone through it will now all of a sudden the way you take care of your bills changes it care of your bills changes and decided they really go away when you lose a half 1 million is the job he should lose all those external navigate right now then nobody would work but it’s good to acknowledge the fact that this is now a tough time and as your processing guess it it’s a moment of grief you are losing your work family you are losing the disability of all the plans you have made based on the income that you’re on and see the job that you have and it’s really hard in that moment to look at this as an advantage or a blessing or whatever word you want to use it when people do that though they just come to you and say oh this is how you should be feeling oh yeah brother work you this. I have you know that that blessing in disguise well you know something I don’t want it to Be disguises right now!

Yeah I’m a little pissed off and so if you are in this position you there at the listener or if you know someone who is here is an opportunity for empathy to really come in bring a brown does a really good talk on empathy and you can find different pieces of it out online go to YouTube Brene Brown she’s amazing one of the things that she talks about is anytime you hear someone say at least and then goes on to talk about something worse that’s not it but he may be there attempt to being helpful but in this moment what somebody who is been laid off needs to hear is you are not alone.

I’ve been there or either I can appreciate where you are you are not alone if you need something I’m here for you and that by itself is really helpful if only in the moment it is still helpful. I did that’s what you need to say to yourself that’s OK take a moment to breathe take some time yeah it is a grieving process and when I was laid off it was a shock because my manager showed up and he was not a town manager from Seattle he showed up one day unannounced and I was like in the middle of putting together a deal right there is in sales and it was just kind of a shock to me and so my first inclination was to be mad I went through anger disbelief that out uncertainty I mean I went through all these emotions so I think it’s perfectly fine to take time it’s a healthy it into in the chair was your day Henry was maybe I took a little too much time well to tell her yet but knowing where you are now I would say challenge that idea I don’t think there is too much time every person is on his or her own timetable.


It may not take me as long as it did for you and it may take me longer we have to get back on the job so there are aspects of that and you too much because you can overload yourself it can be overwhelming and that’s part of being human is not a weakness it is not a liability you will have to do what you have to do for yourself because this is not going to be an easy time it it’s OK to take time for yourself when you need it I was working in was like OK there’s work then my family, positive and negative so stop trying to shoot be in the moment practice self-care because that is going to benefit you longer than the time that you’re not employed as you’re working through this acknowledge the fact that you’re going to need to take some time to yourself that was probably the best thing I ever learn a couple of being OK with taking time off to give myself permission to start it’s probably one of the most powerful.

To give myself permission to stop it’s probably one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself and it will help you in the long run so don’t beat yourself up all of those emotions that you describe the disbelief the anger and everything all of those are typical of grief if it helps to do a little bit of reading on grief the different stages of grief and how to cope with each stage that is probably going to help you get through your period of unemployment it’s helpful take care of yourself and with your spiritual or not I think leaning into some kind of spiritual family or an affinity group for more support group anything that you can do to get around people I think it’s a positive thing I agree because isolation is I think a doorway in some people’s minds to depression.

Wait yourself your own devices being out of work really dangerous and I think depression is something that’s worth discussing for a moment we know that diagnoses for depression are going up a for a variety of reasons that we don’t need to get into here but I have several friends who are dealing with depression and anxiety on a regular basis and as they have gone through their own employment issues one of the things that that they want to do is to withdraw its normal it’s natural and it’s OK if they need to withdraw they are going to bud what they have done in the end of the three people that I’m thinking of it each case they give themselves a time limit so I’m going to just pull up and be a hermit for the next 24 hours and then I’m going to get back or I’m going to do that for three hours or I’m just going to take one hour to go sit in the forest and just be by myself whatever that looks like but they gave until the time limit and then they made themselves get back out at the end of that.

Tell themselves up psychologically to do it we did have to go to a networking event or just to get together with friends or maybe it’s just with a family member that they trust and date they feel good when they get together does the kinds of things that start helping us get past that moment of grief and shock Shane whatever that may be for us so we get out there we start to practice being social again the other thing about being around people I think it helps you still be social and articulate her at least share with vulnerability some of what you’re going through so I think it’s important you have someplace safe place but a place you can go into whether that’s your lucky enough to get some kind of outplacement services party or separation package right now everybody’s getting that because the market so good a lot of companies feel like well guess you’re going to have no problem getting a job.

So they may not be paying for that there are lotta non-profit ministries or whatever you want to call them volunteer organizations that you can lead into organizations I think is really helpful to keeping you in gaged in your recovery right processing of the grief and it doesn’t have to be a job seekers group fit for those who want to get back into the search because that’s what drives them and they have a style that is very much the extrovert and they want to get out there and connect with people or make progress towards the goal of getting a new job that’s where they get their energy by all means get out there and do that for those who are more private or reserved then maybe it’s not the job search maybe it’s not the networking opportunity maybe it’s just going to a coffee shop and having a mindless conversation with a stranger or with 11 point whatever that looks like.

Was laid off or I got separated from a company meeting I was fired and I’m happy to say that now because sometimes it’s just not a fit so much judgment amount we have to be there of course as I was separated and I needed a job so I think there’s pressure that you can put on yourself necessarily correct in thinking about that if you go out and do the professional networking as soon as possible if you really need work that’s going to be a productive activity for you to do as long as you’re happy with your head on straight right and you’re approaching it the right way we have actually all series that we did on the anatomy of a networking conversation we also did an episode which actually is our most listen to episode which was just a professional networking for jobs and so will leave that in the show notes so that you can really know that that is a productive activity if you really need a job the one thing I would say as What’s for working but it’s OK to admit to people that hate I’m not OK with this situation I’m looking for a job not because I chose to bed because this is what happened and I’m struggling a little bit that candor actually helps people feel more connected with you because you’re opening yourself up and when we think about how we model each other’s behavior if you open yourself up the person you’re talking to will probably open up as well.

And then that interaction becomes more effective I would take the audience approach meaning I would make sure if I’m going to share with somebody I have some kind of trust with and I have empathy but I don’t have sympathy when somebody drops their pity party on me I often will rebuke it I don’t know another way to say it better when they come to me with your pity party I have known each other for a long enough that if I come to you with a pity party I’m probably expecting you to put me back on track and to get out but then I trust you and I know where your heart is coming from if we didn’t know each other and I were to get that reaction from you I probably would be hurt so your point is really well take a note at least make some educated guesses but as your sharing the stories and you do open up talk about the things that you want not about the things that you used to have if that if that used to have set up the context and maybe quite what you want in the future that’s really needy information switch her telling the stories about what you want then the other people that you’re talking to can start making their own connections are OK if I find that kind of opportunity I remember him talk about what you want embellish the story with detail.

Combining those two things that’s a good narrative to share with people in it kind a get you through the coping of the grief right because you can I’ll see you at the future with potential that’s right and as that potential becomes clearer in your mind it will become clearer in your story and that is the kind of conversation you want to take you to your professional networking when you go to industry events or association I have a mixer as well when you know what you want when you know what you can bring to the table and agree starts to subside you’re really starting to process this well you know what you’re going after and you know whether it’s that the company that you’re targeting or the industry that you want to move into or whatever as your starting into the professional network you will have the confidence that you think you may lack here’s the cool part about what you just said and that is why I wish that if somebody The schedule because that’s how you got paid is that you showed up you performed show up perform get paid if I’m going back to this idea of looking for work I should have a schedule that allows me to perform so that I can get paid that the one thing about that is it does not have to be the same schedule that you were on before if you were getting up at 4:30 in the morning to get to a job by six and that was too early for you if you like getting up at 4:30 by all means get up at 4:30 there’s also the idea that it to keep the schedule there are a lot of people who say looking for a job is a full-time job please whatever you do not get up and start your job search online at 8 o’clock and sit in front of your computer until noon get back to your computer at one and stay on it till five that is going to drive you insane get up and out by all means do your job search online maybe.

More progress and satisfaction in getting out to one of the things that I did was I spent an hour and a half to the gym every single weekday and I would talk to people at the gym the idea that they see you every day they’re going to start having conversations with you because they know they can trust that you’re coming back you build those relationships start having conversations it’s practice it’s practicing working those muscles your networking muscles not just your physical but there are physical benefits to it and speaking of stuff like that the networking skills that you do a job search maybe the total opposite of what you did for your job or the skills that are required to do your job I wish somebody again if they had come to me and said OK hate that you need to be successful and job search the house so you’re going to have to learn some new skills you come to me and said these are the three or four things that’s the one thing along with the schedule that I wish they would’ve told me short and absolutely.

Whatever grief that you’re going through and by all means lean into an opportunity to be better and become better it’s hard it’s hard to tell them to come out of a situation especially when you’ve been terminated outside of your control it wasn’t your choice to then say OK what lessons can I learn because you’re going to go through those stages of grief that is the end result is going to pay off the most if you can take what you’ve learned from not only the job that you have but the layoff experience what did you learn about how did you react what could you have done differently what do you feel did you did really well in that experience and take that forward to learning never stops well this is great we covered a lot of ground in this episode of things with me that I had heard from you before so I appreciate that we use an audience also appreciate all the sharing all the information what we appreciate from you

Anatomy of a Networking Conversation

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